I read this today in a print edition of Scottish Farmer and found it hilarious. It being April the 1st, and the article being published online at 7am, I do wonder if it’s genuine. Nevertheless, the piece is packed with gems from start to finish and could, knowing Scottish farmers, be genuine! I’ve copied out the text underneath.
WEST Coast farmer, Donald MacDonald, has become so fed up with the Scottish wet weather, that he has decided to grow rice. Donald has farmed Toll Fliuch (translated as Wet Hole) on his farm in one of the wettest areas of the country, south of Oban, for the last 20 years and has come to the conclusion that his meagre in-bye acres would be best suited to being a paddy field. "The farm has become more waterlogged over the years and the only option seems to be to grow rice," he told The Scottish Farmer today (Saturday). "Ive been told that I can get some Genetically Modified rice that's able to withstand our colder climate, but I'm not bothering telling the Scottish Government that." Mr MacDonald has spent some time via Zoom researching and speaking to expert rice grower, Aridly Faso Pol, from Bangladesh, who suggested that the hardy short grain GM-designed variety, Lirpa Loof, would be the best suited to the cooler Scottish climate. At the moment, his ground is being prepared and the rice will be planted this weekend with hopes for a good crop by the end of August. He has invested in a set of triple rear wheels and balloon tyres for the front wheels of his trusty Massey Ferguson 35X to pull a modified transport box, which will house his wife, Flora, who will drop the rice down a specially prepared chute into the sodden ground. Donald is being sponsored by Harbro, which has provided him with a new set of thigh high waders for the job.
West Folio 